Daily Cleaning Guide: A Life is Knutts Version

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I was reading a blog this morning and on it, they had shared a “Handy, Printable, Daily Cleaning Guide’ for parents.

I almost spat out my coffee. A PRINTABLE DAILY CLEANING GUIDE?! Chuff off…

Here is a copy of said guide. It’s everything that I aspired to do myself, but before having children. Once they came along, there was no chance that these things were going to happen on a daily basis. Ever. And reading it just made me feel even more slobby and lazy than I did already. Take this morning, I’ve been up since 5:45 with the toddler. Have I used this time productively to start my ‘Daily Cleaning’ regime?! Have I bollocks. I’ve sat under a duvet, wallowing in self pity, drinking coffee and looking on Social Media (as well as typing this for you lovely lot, obvs). Here’s what I should have been doing…apparently;

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So, as you can see, it’s a fairly brisk cleaning list, but still one that is not achievable with a tasmanian toddler whirlwinding behind you as you go. It’s just bloody pointless even trying.

The only thing attempting this will lead to is anger and resentment once the family return home and mess it up again within 2 minutes. Save yourself the anguish and leave it for another day.

It’ll still be there, trust me.

The lady claims that you must stick to this schedule religiously for 21 days for it to become routine. The only thing I can stick to for 21 days religiously for it to become routine are drinking Gin at 9pm and saying “for fucks sake” under my breath as we walk out the house for the school run.

Because I found this cleaning schdule so unachievable, I decided to make my own, more do-able, version for you all.

Print it out, stick it on the fridge, ignore it and carry on as you were. Whatever works for you.

Here is the, Life is Knutts Guide to Daily Cleaning…

 Daily Cleaning(2)

I hope you found this chart helpful.

If you didn’t, just pour a gin and and google, “cleaners in my area’. That also does the job.

(Just to add here, I don’t have a cleaner. My husband says it is part of my remit as ‘stay at home parent’ to get these jobs done. However, he hasn’t paid me in 8 years so I’m currently on strike…that’s my excuse anyway and I’m sticking to it).

Gem.x

Pink Pear Bear

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18 Comments

  1. May 15, 2016 / 9:38 am

    Oh Gemma! You are too funny! Hilarious! What a stupid list she (and it has to be a she, right?) came up with – we all know where and how we have to clean, for God’s sake! Yours is much more realistic – I definitely go with the flow like you (unless I have visitors – then I clean like a maniac and pretend it is always like that!)

  2. May 15, 2016 / 1:07 pm

    Thank you so much for compiling my daily chore list all in one place! Lol!! Here I thought my days were so unproductive. I’ve done everything on your list today and feel absolutely smashing about myself. Thank you for contributing to my daily dose of sanity . Love the bit about chiseling toothpaste…

  3. May 16, 2016 / 10:15 am

    Love love love this! I mean I’m a it OCD but seriously cleaning the front door and stuff everyday… even I’m not that crazy! #bigpinklink

  4. May 16, 2016 / 11:28 am

    It is posts like the one you mention that drove me slowly insane – and sadly I am not joking!!

    I much prefer yours, I can live with that kind of cleaning.

    Although I do have to admit to still needing to be a bit of a clean freak – an incredibly impossible task with three kids, oh and a husband!

    xx
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  5. May 16, 2016 / 12:20 pm

    After reading this, I now feel normal.

  6. admin
    May 16, 2016 / 8:48 pm

    Phew! Welcome to the ‘normal’ club Sophie!x

  7. admin
    May 16, 2016 / 8:48 pm

    Glad to be of service! Oh, and fear not, I’m the same as you. I can’t leave the mess, it drives me insane!!!x

  8. admin
    May 16, 2016 / 8:50 pm

    Haha!! Thanks Fran!! I am a bit of a clean freak too truth be told but it’s hard in a house with a husband and 3 boys destroying it as I clean!
    Thanks so much for writing!xx

  9. admin
    May 16, 2016 / 8:50 pm

    Porch sweeping is not a priority is it. Crazy woman!!! I like cleaning too x

  10. admin
    May 16, 2016 / 8:52 pm

    what a lovely comment, thanks Leanne!! You should feel smashing about yourself, well done for completing my list, you can have a glass of wine or a family size share bag of Malteesers to scoff by yourself as a reward! xxx

  11. admin
    May 16, 2016 / 8:53 pm

    Haha!! Oh, bless you! Thanks Tracy! Such a lovely comment.
    I always whip the baby wipes out to clean before visitors arrive too xx

  12. May 17, 2016 / 1:08 pm

    Oh my goodness, just brilliant!! I loved it all, but I loved the ending especially, that as you haven’t been paid, you are on strike from cleaning duties! My husband is the same, apparently it definitely falls under the daily things I Should Be Doing, to do loads of cleaning-and I never do any. My exasperated mum usually barges in and does a deep clean once a week, and repeatedly tells me off for being slovenly. That guide you found is ludicrous! I’d never be able to stick to that for 3 weeks! I loved yours, it sounds just perfect for me! We briefly had a cleaner, but she couldn’t really keep on top of the mess… One day it’ll be better I’m sure!!
    Thanks for sharing with #bigpinklink

  13. admin
    May 17, 2016 / 5:17 pm

    Thank Lou!
    I do try to clean daily but not to that extent and with the boys in the house, it’s undone in the blink of an eye!
    X

  14. admin
    May 17, 2016 / 5:18 pm

    Thanks so much for your lovely comment!!! It means so much being told by your peers you’re doing ok!

    Bless you! I know the feeling, my mum is often aghast at my ‘cleaning’ and the fact I don’t do my skirting boards once a week
    We can be slobs together
    Xx

  15. May 22, 2016 / 8:38 pm

    Ahahahahahahaaaa I once read a similar cleaning guide to the first one and thought wtf?! Yours is just perfect. I thought my hubby was the only one who did the pillow thing. What’s with that??

  16. admin
    May 23, 2016 / 9:55 am

    Haha! A fellow phantom pillow remover! I’ve got no idea Louise but it drives me mad! I’m going to have to film him in his sleep to see what he’s doing to it…then again, I’m not sure i’ll want to know… 😉
    xx

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