Deer with a Beer: Day 23


“I’m so sorry Bear…” said Rudolph, his voice full of sadness, but also masking an enormous amount of anger.

(Us women are experts in this – feeling so pissed off with someone that you want to Waterboard them, but at the same time, smiling sweetly and carrying on like nothing has upset you. Remember that next time a woman tells you ‘nothing is wrong’ – she is probably lying…definitely).
“Let me get you down” he said.
Rudolph untied Brown Bear and he fell to the ground with a thud and a profanity.
“I’m so sorry Rudy,” Brown Bear replied.
“I hope I haven’t ruined things between you and Ruby. I will make things right, I promise”.
“I know Bear, it’s not your fault” Rudolph replied.
Rudolph made Bear a cup of tea, he did request a beer but Rudolph didn’t take that request too kindly seen as it was that hoppy brewed beverage that had landed them in all this trouble in the first place.
“Let me phone Ruby and see if she will come over to sort this out,” said Rudolph, and off he went to phone her.
After much debate, persuasion, offers of money and offers of washing up for eternity (pah! Fat chance of that coming to fruition!)!Ruby agreed to come back and speak to Rudolph and Bear.
“You need to apologise Bear, and promise Ruby you will stop drinking, then she will forgive you” Rudolph explained.
“Give up beer?! Oh my god, I’m not sure I can do this Rudy…I need some help”.
“We can sort the help, but you need to want to help yourself to start with”.
Intense eh?! This has got a bit deep…
Ruby arrived and knocked on the door. She came in and gave Bear a disappointed glance, the kind your grandparents give you when you’ve upset them and it breaks your heart.
“You need to get some help Bear. You’re no use to Rudy or yourself in this state all the time. You’re 40 years old now, start acting like it”.
(How boring!!! 40 is the new 20, does she not know this?! Get this woman some emergency Gin!!!)
“I know Ruby, I’ll get some help” said Bear, “but I’m going to need some help”.
“We are here to help you Bear, me, Rudy and the kids, you won’t be on your own” replied Ruby.
“Thanks you guys, and by the way, I’m over the moon that you guys are back together and sorting out your differences. The beer made us do it…” (I blame Gin for stuff all the time, being happy, being grumpy, crying, being late, not being able to cook…all Gins fault).
“I’m going to book you into a rehab Centre Bear, they’ll help you and we will be there every step of the way” said Ruby, and with that she was on the phone to ‘The Stable’ (it’s like The Priory but has hay beds and has more of a rustic feel to it).
“Thank you guys. Thanks so much”, said Bear.
The 3 of them had a big hug and the kids joined in too.
A bubble of happiness surrounded them.
It was a precious moment and all was well and slotting into place.
“But Daddy…” Uttered one of the children, “we still don’t know what f$*k means…”
Bubble burst.
Ruby and Rudolph moved back in together along with the kids and life was back to normal.
He couldn’t have wished for anything more this Christmas. Family is all you need (oh alright, and maybe a little bit of Gin…)
Bear spent Christmas in rehab going cold turkey (literally, you lie on a frozen turkey and it apparently shocks you into never wanting a beer again…and freezes your nether regions while you’re at it. No more visits to Lap Land for a while eh, Brown Bear…?) but was allowed out for day visits to Rudolph’s where they drank tea and did Rudolph’s new fitness DVD together.
And now we’ve nearly reached the end of our Christmas tale, only one day to go (thank goodness, I’m so sorry I’ve put you all through this!) so tune in tomorrow for the grand finale…



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