It’s Gnome joke…


I was minding my own business, walking home from a play date this morning, when I walked past a car after coming out of the alleyway on my road. Upon walking past it, I saw this sat in the passenger seat, with a seatbelt on (safety first and all that, it’s Gnome joking matter…)


Gnomes: Look friendly and jolly. Are actually psychotic and are plotting to take over the world…

Now, I hate Gnomes.

And clowns.

And China Dolls.

They are all, as far as I’m concerned, the root of all evil and no good can come of these things. 

I believed that Gnomes came to life at night when I was a child and hated looking at them. It’s a hatred I still harbour to this day, and going to a McDonalds party as a child and having to face Ronald McDonald was too much to bear and I’d often be too scared to eat my happy meal. The irony.

I’m pretty sure the Giant Gnome had hijacked this car along with his mate (who’s whereabouts are unknown – he may have been off robbing a house just up the road and this was their getaway car) and I’m 99% sure I saw a sledge hammer and some Gaffer Tape in its hand as I walked (ran) past…

I’m not sure I’m going to be able to walk past it again at school pickup time and I hope they will have either made their getaway by then or been arrested.

Be vigilant everyone. They’re on the loose and they’re always watching…


Gnomes: Most dangerous garden dweller known to man…hides weapons and pepper spray under it’s hat.

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  1. February 26, 2016 / 1:36 pm

    This is hilarious! Although I am sorry for your phobias…!

  2. February 27, 2016 / 12:47 am

    That is upsetting! I once walked past a car that had batman lurking in the back seat. It was a kid dressed as batman, but was pretty amusing. Gnomes, however, are outright disturbing. I agree – I think it hijacked the car!

  3. February 28, 2016 / 11:12 am

    I am with you on the clown phobia. Don’t mind gnomes so much, but clowns, downright creepy!

  4. March 1, 2016 / 10:52 am

    It is funny, you’re right to laugh – I just hate gnomes. And clowns. All because of my older brother… X

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