My week with the Toddler…in song.


Living with a toddler.

My week summed up in a song – sung to the tune of Row, row, row the boat (multiple verses).

Piss, piss, piss mum off, what else can I do?
To make her loose her sh*t today, I know, I’ll bury her shoe.

Stop, stop, stop she shouts, you’re covering them in dirt,
I don’t care, she makes life unfair, I’m going to bury some more.

Oh, oh, oh dear no, I think I’ve gone too far,
The cloth, the shoes, the dolly were fine, but now I’ve buried her bra.

No, no, no she yells, Stop burying my things!
Ok, ok, I’ll stop it now (right after I’ve buried your rings…)

(The toddler ends this song with an evil mastermind laugh and strokes a fur-less cat whilst sitting in a spinning executive chair. Mummy is in a heap in the corner of the kitchen swigging gin straight from the bottle…)




  1. May 8, 2016 / 7:53 am

    Just an everyday normal occurrence in the Knutts household, then……
    Can’t you bury some of his precious toys in the vegetable garden and get him to turn the ground over for you while he’s digging term up?
    GeorgieMoon recently posted…Headscarf, goggles and a scraper…My Profile

  2. admin
    May 8, 2016 / 8:20 am

    That’s a very good idea Georgie!! I’ll give it a go today and I’ll hide the noisy ones that I don’t mind not getting found x

  3. May 9, 2016 / 9:24 am

    This is brilliant Gemma!! Pesky children….I’m currently having dinner lobbed at me…..can you write a song about that please (and I’ll guest post it )


  4. Sarah Ella (Mumx3x)
    May 9, 2016 / 9:44 am

    This is SO funny! I laughed out loud. I am going to have to share this post on twitter, it’s so funny and SO true! Even though my children aren’t toddlers any more… Oh I remember!
    Laughing out loud at ‘gone to far and buried her bra’. (Insert many laughing emoji’s here) Great post! I needed that laugh today! xx

  5. May 9, 2016 / 2:15 pm

    Oh dear lol, sounds like you have had one crazy week 😉 x

  6. admin
    May 9, 2016 / 6:43 pm

    leave it with me Laura….ill get on it.
    Like how you’ve tied that in with your post from today – awesome work!!,,

  7. admin
    May 9, 2016 / 6:44 pm

    Thanks so so much Sarah, you’re smashing! What lovely words! Made my

  8. admin
    May 9, 2016 / 6:44 pm

    I could’ve used a lot more swear words…he buried a cushion off the sofa and a beanbag at the weekend too!

  9. admin
    May 9, 2016 / 6:45 pm

    Really have Sarah… Toddlers = Menaces!x

  10. May 9, 2016 / 7:03 pm

    Lol children always find a way to wind us all up and make our lives more dramatic than it needs to be haha. But we love them anyway!
    Ana De- Jesus recently posted…Would You Date Offline?My Profile

  11. May 9, 2016 / 11:02 pm

    Haha what a great song lol and a fantastic way to lighten the mood lol, I swear if I didn’t laugh sometimes id cry xx

  12. Kerry Norris
    May 10, 2016 / 9:57 am

    Haha this is hilarious and total genius. It’s also very true of most days in our house. Brilliant post x

  13. admin
    May 10, 2016 / 10:04 am

    You’re so right Sarah! Laughter is the best medicine at times….my toddler has literally turned into a dog. He’s burying everything!!!x

  14. admin
    May 10, 2016 / 10:05 am

    Totally requires Gin Harriet! You’re right!
    Thanks for your kind words.xx
    Sorry you’ve had a tough week too. I’ve no idea why my toddler likes burying things at the moment but it is driving me mad…he dragged the beanbag down there at the weekend and buried that like it was a body bag. Very disturbing….

  15. admin
    May 10, 2016 / 10:06 am

    thanks Kerry!
    Have some gin on me…

  16. admin
    May 10, 2016 / 10:06 am

    We do, but if he buries my makeup or my hairbrush again he’s in huge trouble x

  17. admin
    May 10, 2016 / 10:07 am

    Really have. This one has been sent to test me Sarah… X

  18. admin
    May 10, 2016 / 10:07 am

    Haha!!! Brilliant. Thanks Anna! Good luck with the awards by the way – you’ll do great im sure.x

  19. admin
    May 14, 2016 / 6:56 am

    Thanks Chloe!! He’s literally turned into a dog this last couple of weeks…everything gets buried!!! x

  20. May 18, 2016 / 6:51 pm

    Well if you can’t sing you’d cry! I recognise the evil laugh. My toddler has that perfected.

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