A Hair-raising day…

image_pdfimage_print

Ben, my toddler, is the proud owner of a massive amount of hair. A mullet that a 1980’s scouser would be proud of. In fact, Gregg Wallace from Masterchef would be very jealous of it… (That guy cracks me up)

He was born with a fairly impressive amount, didn’t loose any and it’s just kept growing. He has only had it cut once, just after his first birthday, after this photo I took at a friends house prompted me into action…the mullet had gone a step too far.

One for his 18th Birthday and Wedding…

The first haircut went pretty badly it’s safe to say. We chose a local barbers who have a racing car chair for the little kids to sit in and also a tv…oh, and lollipops. Everyone loves a lollipop, don’t they?! Well not Ben. He wasn’t falling for that trick, or the car chair distraction, or Peppa Pig on the TV. He wanted out and that was the end of it. Sadly he had half of his mullet on the floor and the other half still firmly on his head so there was nothing for it but to pin him down (head on the steering wheel) and clipper away quicker than me eating a slice of chocolate cake on the sly…

He had screamed so much he was hyperventilating, he had hair stuck to all the snot on his face so he looked like a Werewolf (and he was howling like one) and I was a sweaty, jibbering wreck in dire need of a liqueur coffee. It really put me off ever taking him for one again.

Sadly, over the last year, his mullet has continued to grow at its same, swift rate and he was in need of a trip to the hairdressers once again…I however, still scarred for life from the last time, wasn’t.

 

All hail the mighty mullet! (Yes, he’s eating sand…)

 

Myself and my mum popped into town yesterday (she doesn’t work Wednesday’s so that’s our one day together – normally spent running errands and wresting the toddler around the shops before the school run) so we took the opportunity to take the little devil for a trim up.

We chose the same barbers as last year, thinking that because he is now a year older, he might appreciate the racing car chair and lollipops a bit more (ah, that mistake again…assumption. Only leads to disaster).

Ben sits in the racing car chair quite happily, initially. Then the chap starts squirting water on his locks to tame them. Disaster. As soon as the first droplets hit his bouffant that it.

“Whaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!” he’s off on one. He’s already trying to disembark and is flailing around like a child who’s just eaten a blue freeze pop.

The chap valiantly tries to push on, over the limb flailing and wailing, and attempts to scissor cut his hair. My mum tries to distract him with Peppa pig but he’s having none of it. For once in his life, he couldn’t care less if Daddy Pig is crap at DIY and has broken the wall of the house, Peppa Pig can piss off. It’s safe to say Ben is not in his happy place.


The guy asks me to get Ben a lollipop, so I go and get one and give it to Ben. Within 2 seconds of it hitting his palm, it’s launched. “Nooooo!” comes the scream. He’s really quite cross now. Snot is coming out of his nose, hair is stuck to it, his eyes are bloodshot due to the screaming and he’s hyperventilating like some sort of Vampire Werewolf (Vampire Werewolf the movie, coming to a barbers near you soon).

The barber then tells me to sit down in a chair and puts a gown on me. Erm, I don’t want mine cut into a short back and sides thanks… Luckily it’s just a rouse to trick Ben into sitting on my lap. The barber tells me to hold Ben tight so he can do around his ears…this doesn’t go down too well and I’m now covered in his snot, hair and I want to curl up in a ball and drink Gin from the bottle in the corner of the room.

After 7 minutes of constant squealing, crying, hitting, thrashing and hatred (and that was just me) the barber admitted defeat and said he could do no more. Ben was left a jibbering wreck and my mum was asked to take him out of the shop to calm down whilst I de-haired myself and paid.

The chap apologised for not being able to cut it better, but then still charged me the full £9 for the half a haircut. To be honest though, the guy deserved to be knighted by the queen for persevering as long as he did.

So, it’s safe to say that despite a year without a haircut, Ben is still not a fan of a trip to the barbers. I’m just going to let it grow wild now until he’s old enough to behave himself…maybe he will get it cut for his 18th birthday working off that theory. It’s a trauma we could all do without. Gin o’clock….

 

Only photo I could get of his half a haircut last night…

 

 

And this was this morning…if you squint and tilt your head right, it doesn’t look wonky…

 

Follow:

18 Comments

  1. February 11, 2016 / 9:54 pm

    Hahahaha oh good lord what a trauma! Surprisingly Omar isn’t too bad at the hairdressers. I have to take millions of sweets, crisps and brioche and an iPad and then tell the hairdresser to work as quickly as she can. I think you’re right to just leave Ben’s hair now though, it’s gorgeous anyway! Xx

  2. July 31, 2017 / 11:48 am

    Hopefully he’ll be better about hair cuts as he grows as school’s can be quite strict about hair length. The Tubblet is still not keen, but we’ve found a hairdresser she likes so she tolerates it
    Tubbs recently posted…At Home I’m a Tourist.My Profile

  3. July 31, 2017 / 2:00 pm

    We did well at the first trip but I worry about bringing our smallest!
    fancy recently posted…Our Sligo HighlightsMy Profile

  4. July 31, 2017 / 3:49 pm

    OH man, hair cute day is always a stressful one! I have 5 kiddos so I cut their hair on my own because it’s too expensive to take them all in…and they act way worse for me than they would for a pro. But us moms always seem to get through it don’t we?
    #bigpinklink

  5. July 31, 2017 / 6:07 pm

    Oh no what a nightmare! Can’t believe you were still charged the full amount. I bet the glass of booze tasted good at the end of your ordeal. At the moment I’m cutting my toddler’s hair myself but her fringe is rather wonky. Think I need to bite the bullet and just go to a salon, eek. X #bigpinklink

  6. July 31, 2017 / 9:44 pm

    That sounds exhausting! Can’t believe you were charged for a full haircut! Makes me grateful for once for my girl’s slow growing barnet! #bigpinklink
    Alice recently posted…Snortle HuntingMy Profile

  7. July 31, 2017 / 11:00 pm

    And his hair is just so cute whatever it’s like because he is adorable. Exhausting exercise for you but kind of hats off to him – he just doesn’t want his hair cut and he’s certainly making that known. #bigpinklink

  8. August 1, 2017 / 2:58 pm

    Oh I know this well. My middle son is now nearly five and only in the past year have haircuts been tolerable experiences. His first was exactly like you describe, right down to the car (he sussed it right away and wouldn’t even sit in it, although he’d usually be chewing off his own arm to play in something like that!). We even took to clipping his hair ourselves at home because it was too embarrassing (and unfair on the barber!) to do it in public! I feel your pain.
    #bigpinklink
    Sadie recently posted…how to love your postnatal bodyMy Profile

  9. August 1, 2017 / 4:03 pm

    Arrrggggh!!!! I feel your pain! I’ve been there with my little hairball too!! If it’s any consolation, my little darling just randomly grew out of it when he hit 4 and started accepting bribery in exchange for hair cuts so hang in there! I too was a mullet-mummy for a couple of years so I know what you’re going through! You made me laugh out loud reading this, love your style of writing – haha to use of the word “disembark” and Vampire Werewolf coming to a barbers near you!! Loved it! #BigPinkLink

  10. August 1, 2017 / 7:36 pm

    Empathise on this one – still begging my 13 year old to go and get her beautiful hair styled after years of bribery, me doing it, etc. She is shy too and likes her own space so it is her worst nightmare.
    Thanks for sharing – makes me and many more mums feel less alone
    Kate recently posted…23 things that make women inspirationalMy Profile

  11. August 1, 2017 / 8:43 pm

    Oh this made me smile, my boy was exactly the same. The first time I took him to the hairdressers I too came out scarred for life. He screamed the place down with such a shrill I didnt want to show my face in there for the rest of my life. However, the hair dresser was fantastic and said I must keep going back as he will get used to it. The second time I went prepared with buttons/haribo and juice and he screamed just as bad again, the 3rd time he actually got half way through and the 4th time we nearly did it and by the 5th time (in total over a year) we finally had a breakthrough and now he’s 3 we actually go and get through it in peace!! xx #Bigpinklink

  12. August 5, 2017 / 2:41 pm

    Oh, isn’t he just a cutie pie, mullet or not! Love him. Great post! #bigpinklink xo
    Lisa Pomerantz recently posted…Sunrise, SunsetMy Profile

  13. August 6, 2017 / 10:17 pm

    Awww bless him – and well done you for trying despite the previous experience! My little one was born with a full mane, but at only 8 months, I’m safe just having a little chop of the fringe every now and again myself… not looking forward to the day this will be me hahaha!#bigpinklink

  14. August 6, 2017 / 11:47 pm

    Haha! Oh dear! I haven’t yet taken either of mine to the hairdressers. I’ve given them little trims myself, which they’re okay with, but not sure how hairdressers would go. #BigPinkLink
    Silly Mummy recently posted…Friday Frolics – 4th August 2017My Profile

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

CommentLuv badge