Holy chuff it was a cold one this morning. Winter has most definitely arrived and with it, the first proper ice and frost of the year.
Cue deliriously happy children.
Cue the walk to school taking 35 minutes instead of 20.
Cue mummy flitting between, “Ah, isn’t it beautiful! Look boys, a leaf frozen in a puddle!” and, “BOYS!!! WILL YOU STOP TRYING TO ICE SKATE ON THE KERB NEXT TO THE MAIN ROAD!!! AND DON’T DO A PIROUETTE ON AN ICE PATCH WHIST IN THE MIDDLE OF THE ROAD WHEN WE ARE CROSSING IT!! Natural selection at its finest there…
The car has the ice scraped off its windows by the boys so they can have ice fingers like Jack Frost (that’ll please Daddy). Cute…until they shove those icy fingers down the back of your neck when you’re trying to put the bins out in a rush because you’re already running late.
Each puddle has to be stamped in to test if it’s become ice or not. There are a lot of potholes on the way to school. That means a lot of puddles. A lot of stamping, and a lot of shouting from me, pleading, “not before school in your uniform!!” My pleading is futile, they stamp away and soak themselves. Idiots.
We have one slip and arse plant on the pavement due to running, after being told not to, but that only results in more giggles of hysteria and spurs them on to attempt it again. I give up.
We come to a giant frozen puddle near school at the end of an alleyway, which all the kids are gathered around. A couple of the kids slip over and are met with disappointed glares and the old adage of, “I told you so!” from their parents rather than sympathy. I feel their pain.
And with that, one of my boys picks up a large shard of ice from said puddle (which is basically on the ground of a car park/garage lockup/alleyway path…and probably covered in dog poo and pee) and without further ado he begins to eat it. A friend points this out to me and I spin round and tell him not to do it. 2 seconds later, it’s back in his mouth. Give him some broccoli and he will have a meltdown like Kate Winslet at an awards ceremony thank you speech, but give him some potentially dog poo covered ice and he’ll chomp on that no problem.
We get to school in one piece, just about, but I’m already mentally exhausted and I secretly breathe a sigh of relief as I hand my kids over to their teachers for the day. I’m quite thankful that I’m not a teacher today who is probably having to put up with a class of 30, super excited kids who can’t wait to eat more ice off the floor at playtime. Let’s hope it’s all melted by pickup time….