Sob story – I think motherhood has turned me into a cry baby…

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My name is Gem and I’m a crier.


It’s that time of year again where I seem to spend most of my days getting emotional about literally everything.

I’m not joking, I don’t think there is a day that goes by at the moment where I don’t ugly cry at something.

It could be an advert about nappies, it could be a rare moment of affection and love between my boys, it could be a new bottle of Gin arriving in the food delivery that sets me off. I really do seem to turn on the waterworks at anything.

I am pretty sure my husband must think that I have finally lost the plot.

The summer term at school is always a hard one. There is loads going on day to day, there’s lots to remember, there’s uncertainty, questions, angst, stress, laughter, memories made, milestones reached and it’s all starting to take it’s toll on me.

I seriously don’t think I used to cry as much pre-kids. I have always been an emotional person (the sort to cry at TV shows and don’t even try to get me to watch Children in Need or suchlike, I just can’t) but I am pretty certain that motherhood has made my tendency to sob worse.

Just last week I think I cried about 15 times. Here are some of the things that set me off, some trivial, some not so;

– Ben telling me thank you at bedtime for giving him cuddles all day.

– All three boys eating the same dinner, sitting for the whole mealtime without me shouting at them for using their cutlery as weapons against each other like they normally do and finishing everything on their plates.

paddling pool brothers

– Listening to a song by someone called Agnes Obel (September Song – it was used in Big Little Lies on Sky Atlantic and I love it)

– Watching my middle one in his class assembly say his lines. For someone that didn’t say ‘Mummy’ until he was 4 and had speech therapy, I always get emotional seeing how far he has come when he does some public speaking.

– Listening to my middle one and his class sing their songs in their class assembly (Lean on by Bill Withers and History by One Direction – both got me right in the feels)

– Thinking about the fact my eldest only has 2 years left at Primary school.

Son being a cool dude

– Thinking about my middle one’s wonderful teacher leaving next week – she is one of the most lovely people I have ever met.

– Reaching the bottom of the washing basket for 2 whole hours.

– Having to say goodbye and go the funeral of my Auntie’s Grandma who was 102 years old – what a woman she was and what changes she saw in her lifetime. The vicar explained that when she was born in 1915, the first ever telephone call happened. Can you imagine the leaps in technology she has lived through, as well as witnessing 2 World Wars?! Astounding.

– Watching the last episode of Breaking Bad (yeah, we were late to the party there but what a series!!!)

– Having an argument with some fondant icing and ripping the head off something I had made in a fit of rage. Somewhat satisfying as well I have to say.

– Panicking about what I need to remember for the last 2 weeks of school and how I am going to fit everything in that I need to get done before the kids finish for summer holidays.

– Looking back at photos of my family and the kids.

Dorset kids on the beach

– My eldest coming out with some hilarious sayings and sounding really grown up. The comedian in me was super proud of his sarcasm, even if it was verging on cheekiness.

– Being told by my husband that a cake I made was actually, quote, “Pretty good”. High praise indeed from him.

Oh man, I’m starting to get all emosh just writing all this down! See, I told you I’m a crier.


 I actually hate the fact I am a crier. It’s super embarrassing.

Every time I feel like I am going to start wailing, I tell myself not to. I give myself a metaphorical slap around the chops and try to pull myself together, but to no avail. I’ll manage for a minute or two and then, once the floodgates have opened, that’s it. I’m like Paul Gascoigne after England crashed out of Italia ’90.

Last week, I knew I was going to cry at Zak’s assembly before I had even seen it. I read the script he was practicing with because I thought I might not find it as emotional if I’d got it all out of my system at home but no, I still sobbed like a lunatic whilst they spoke about being brave moving into year 3, about saying goodbye to their friends and reminiscing about all the fun they’d had as a class over the last 3 years. I was massively thankful that Ben piped up and demanded a piddle towards the end of it because I had snot dripping from my nose and makeup smudged all over myself like a crying clown. What a numpty.

via GIPHY

Brothers

I even looked at techniques online to apparently help stop yourself from crying;

– Pulling your bottom eyelids down (yeah Gem, because that wouldn’t look weird in front of the whole school and all the parents of your son’s class would it…)

– Pinching the bit of skin between your thumb and pointing finger really hard.

– Deep breathing.

– Singing a jolly song in your head (I chose always look on the bright side of life. That was a bad choice – it made me cry).

– Counting in your head.

– Looking up (again Gem, you’d have looked like a bit of an idiot doing that, either like you’re bored or doing some serious soul searching)

None of those things worked. None of them.

Utter bullshit.

I just cannot, stop, sobbing!!!!

Next week when it’s the end of term I am going to be even worse *goes off to google more ‘stop yourself from crying’ techniques*. We have leavers/end of year assembly at school and even though none of my kids are leaving, I will still cry. We have to say goodbye to my middle one’s teacher for good, again I will probably ugly cry in front of her and the entire class. We have to say goodbye to my little one’s preschool manager who is also one of the most lovely people ever (she is off to live in Dubai…noooooo!), the 3 year old has his preschool booster jabs and is going to hate me forever for letting them jab him up and we just have day to day carnage and shit to remember. I think I might be a complete wreck by next Friday and be on intravenous Gin.

I am fully preparing myself for another couple of weeks of snotty nosed sobbing before the summer holidays hit, and then I’ll probably just be crying through stress. Please be kind to me summer holidays…

*Sob*

 Dprset sunset

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36 Comments

  1. July 10, 2017 / 6:05 pm

    I’m right there with you on the crying (and I ADORE September Song AND Big Little Lies). For me, it’s been every time my baby has tried to kiss me. It’s been a new skill she’s trying and I turn to mush every time!
    sarah recently posted…8 Best Jogging Strollers Under 200My Profile

  2. admin
    July 10, 2017 / 6:47 pm

    Oh Sarah, bless you! That’s so sweet. Those baby milestones are the best xxx

  3. July 11, 2017 / 8:27 am

    Oh I’m with you. I cry at ALL the things. Even cry when I’m angry which is really frustrating as people then feel sorry for me and think they’ve upset me when actually I want to bite them. I will give some of those tips a try… but I fear that I too need to accept my fate as a habitual sobber and just carry tissues! xx
    Rhyming with Wine recently posted…#DreamTeam Linky Week 63My Profile

  4. July 24, 2017 / 8:55 am

    I don’t cry very often, but when I do everyone RUNS! I only cry when I get really pissed off and by the time I’m crying it’s to stop myself from burning the world down with just my brainpower. #bigpinklink

  5. July 24, 2017 / 9:18 am

    The summer holidays have me up in a heap too! Glad it’s not just me. Bawling at the end of Annie EVERY single time. And we watch Annie a LOT! #bigpinklink

  6. July 24, 2017 / 9:53 am

    Oh you are not alone! The end of the school year always gets to me too and I hate saying bye to my classes, I always cry. #BigPinkLink

  7. July 24, 2017 / 9:53 am

    So glad it is not me who is balling all the time since becoming a mother. Sometimes the happy things make me blub more than the sad things too. And I cry at how sweet and adorable other people’s children are. Last week when I had a really bad cold I cried reading Dogger for my daughter’s bedtime story, because the emotion was just all too much. Glad you got through the assembly – it’s good to be in touch with your emotions… #bigpinklink
    Nursery Whines recently posted…Helcopter Parenting – How Low Should You Go?My Profile

  8. July 24, 2017 / 10:25 am

    You’re definitely not alone with this one. My latest thing that never fails to make me cry is that Pampers advert about premature babies. Makes me bawl! #bigpinklink

  9. July 24, 2017 / 11:37 am

    Ah this is so me, I cry at absolutely everything since I’ve had children! #bigpinklink

  10. July 24, 2017 / 1:11 pm

    I have also turned into a crier and a terrible worrier since I became a mother. It’s so weird as I was never a crier before

  11. July 24, 2017 / 2:29 pm

    Aw Gem! Motherhood has made me much more of a cry baby. Me and my friends always joked I was the ice queen… Well these days I am a little more thawed. That said the gin arriving in the shop and the laundry basket empty for 2 WHOLE HOURS (your’re fibbing right?!?) those are things that hugely deserve the tears.
    #BigPinkLink

  12. July 24, 2017 / 3:00 pm

    Both Mr S.H.I.T and I have become sobbing disasters since having the kids. Actually he’s nowhere near as bad as me – I can watch anything on TV and it makes me cry. The kids leaving each term makes me cry. But I’ve noticed him with welling up eyes at adverts and Mrs Doubtfire, and he never ever used to cry. Must be because we’re so much more in tune with our emotions and realise how fragile life can be I reckon. #bigpinklink
    Susie/So Happy In Town recently posted…Oh Dear Control Freak Mum, The Holidays Are HereMy Profile

  13. July 24, 2017 / 3:39 pm

    Oh god, yes, I am such a crier. I went out to review a play this last week, and got goosebumps and teary halfway through, and it wasn’t even a sad bit. I cried yesterday because I started cleaning the oven and it wasn’t going as well as I thought it would. I almost cried the other night when they hadn’t got my favourite pizza in Co-Op and I desperately wanted one. And don’t get me started on any TV or film involving kids or animals… and I don’t even LIKE animals…

  14. July 24, 2017 / 4:00 pm

    Oh man I am a cried to the “nth” degree.

    #bigpinklink

  15. July 24, 2017 / 5:32 pm

    It’s fine to cry, do what you feel and don’t hide your feelings. Breaking Bad is awesome! #BigPinkLink
    Mama Grace recently posted…Letting GoMy Profile

  16. July 24, 2017 / 8:16 pm

    Oh gosh this is so true! I find I go through patches of teary behaviour and then drier spells (haha?). The only thing that seems to help is picking a really funny thought or memory to try to short circuit the tears. And even then it’s touch and go. Mostly I just use it as justification to have my eyelashes tinted so I don’t need to wear mascara – silver linings, hey? #bigpinklink

  17. July 24, 2017 / 8:22 pm

    I hardly ever cried before having my second but recently I’ve cried during Trolls (True Colours… sob) and when the opening of Kay Perry ‘Fireworks’ came on in my daughter’s pre-school graduation ceremony! #bigpinklink

  18. July 24, 2017 / 11:22 pm

    I’m a bit of a crier too so I totally understand. Thank God for sunglasses 🙂
    #bigpinklink

  19. July 24, 2017 / 11:44 pm

    I needed to read this! Don’t feel quite so weird about my own emotional outpourings now.

  20. July 25, 2017 / 12:36 am

    I’m a crier. I’m not 1005 sure if it is because I have recently forgotten to take my meds or if i am just a crier but at least you had good reason. I cried about twelve times watch Finding Dory, In fact, worse than that, earlier I watched The Conjuring with my brother and when they sang Elvis Presley. It has only been since I have had children though if it makes anything better? (it doesn’t)! Cath kidston do some beautiful tissues so you can ugly cry but still look fabulous. #bigpinklink

  21. July 25, 2017 / 12:37 am

    I’m a crier. I’m not 1005 sure if it is because I have recently forgotten to take my meds or if i am just a crier but at least you had good reason. I cried about twelve times watch Finding Dory, In fact, worse than that, earlier I watched The Conjuring with my brother and when they sang Elvis Presley. It has only been since I have had children though if it makes anything better? (it doesn’t)! Cath kidston do some beautiful tissues so you can ugly cry but still look fabulous. #bigpinklink 🙂
    Catherine recently posted…Graduation.My Profile

  22. July 25, 2017 / 6:33 am

    Oh, Darling..! Looking at old photos always does it. From a woman who spends most of her time crying in the toilet, this is no surprise. It’s even worse now I have teenagers. I’m relating a story to them and start to well up. They just walk away saying “Oh my God! Are you crying agin??”
    @bigpinklink
    Liz Deacle recently posted…The (politically) correct questions to ask your teenager.My Profile

  23. July 25, 2017 / 9:25 am

    I am so with you on this honey. I too am a major crier. I am a very emotional person yet my husband isn’t. I don’t think it’s necessarily bad to be emotional though so don’t beat yourself up over it xxx #bigpinklink

  24. July 25, 2017 / 11:44 pm

    We definitely cry m ore after becoming a mum. It is OK to cry you know and to express your feelings how you see fit. I also found I cried a lot when pregnant.

  25. July 26, 2017 / 11:28 am

    Oh, Gemma, I have never cried so much in my life since becoming a mom. There must be some special hormone that gets notified as soon as a child arrives that sets off the waterworks at anything. Good, bad, horrid, happy – tears. Perhaps if we mums can bottle it all, and send it to some desalinization plant, we can help save the world water crisis (which I cry over too). I never cried until my 40’s. Doctors actually told me I over exercised to literally sweat out the tears I was holding. Brilliant. Well, no more. Heck, I cried at your crying. Your boys are absolutely beautiful! #BigPinkLink xoxo

  26. July 26, 2017 / 8:27 pm

    I think motherhood has also turned me into a bit of a cry baby! I never cried at anything, now I boo at adverts! Whats happened to us?! #bigpinklink

  27. July 26, 2017 / 10:20 pm

    I am definitely much more of a crier since I had kids. I was in the car the other day when Cats In The Cradle by Ugly Kid Joe came on the radio. I’ve always loved that song and turned it up and started singing along but being a parent now made the experience compleydifferent and I was full on sobbing by the end
    #Bigpinklink
    Alana – Burnished Chaos recently posted…10 Brilliant Birthday Gifts For 3 Year Old GirlsMy Profile

  28. July 27, 2017 / 8:53 pm

    Yep, I’m a crier too. My oldest is 15 and I cried recently at his year’s graduation assembly to mark them moving into the senior phase of high school. Thankfully none of his classmates saw or he’d have never lived it down. And now I’ve just had another baby…I barely stop sobbing! Thanks for sharing the tips to stop crying. I think I’ve tried them all, but I’ll give nipping myself a try!
    #bigpinklink
    Sadie recently posted…newborns are hard work…even for us seasoned prosMy Profile

  29. July 28, 2017 / 7:00 pm

    You’re preaching to the choir here as i nearly welled up reading your list!!! I totally agree that all of them are crying worthy in my parenting book! Last night I think Ben had his first obvious nightmare. He was arching and tossing in his sleep and wailed suddenly, I pulled him down in his cot and stroked his hair whilst he drifted off to sleep… I nearly cried then and there at his cuteness and even now I can feel my bottom lip going! #bigpinklink

  30. July 31, 2017 / 12:41 am

    Ooh – I wonder if my progression into a school mum come September will have this affect on me?! I’m not much of a crier at things. Never have been. Except Comic Relief. I bawl my eyes out at that every time. Not the funny bits, of course. I considered crying when someone put Aidan Turner in the f***ing Hobbit. Biggest travesty since Narnia turned James McAvoy into a goddamn goat. #BigPinkLink
    Silly Mummy recently posted…Friday Frolics – 28th July 2017My Profile

  31. October 14, 2017 / 2:15 am

    That’s really sweet. It’s totally ok to cry, there is nothing wrong with that. Just express your feelings. #bigpinklink

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