Say what?! (A funny moment at Virginia Water Lake)

Not really a proper blog post as such but this was so funny I just had to record it down on my blog…

We went out today, me and the boys, to Virginia Water Lake. It’s a stunning place about 20 minutes from us.

The focal point of Virginia Water is the lake. It is a man-made lake, construction started in 1746 and it was designed by William, Duke of Cumberland who was ranger of the park at the time. It went on to become, essentially, a royal playground, full of grand designs, unusual architectural features and scenic vistas. It makes up part of Windsor Great Park and was often frequented by Queen Victoria so she could entertain on its shores.

Anyhow, I’ve digressed again, back to what I was going to tell you all…

Whilst out for our walk, my eldest asked (obviously) if he could play Pokemon Go. I said of course and he waited for my phone to load the game up.

As the game loaded, he began searching the map for some Poke Stops (places you can collect more Poke balls to trap the Pokemon according to my 8 year old…) that were nearby.

In his biggest, loudest, outdoor voice he then said…

“Mummy! There is a Poke Stop here! Vagina water lake is a Poke Stop!”

I am now in pieces, laughing at him shouting out Vagina water in front of a group of mums with their newborn bundles, and some OAP’s who were out for a leisurely stroll.

“It’s Virginia Water honey, not vagina”.

“Oh. So what’s a vagina then?”

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…cue a chat about lady gardens whilst walking around the actual gardens.

Brilliant.

#PokeBallsInVaginaWater

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😉

Gem.x

Little Hearts, Big Love



Gin & Tonic four ways – A Life is Knutts version…

It’s tough being a parent.

I know people tell you to ‘cherish every moment’ and ask for time to slow down because their children are growing up too fast, but do you know what, sometimes it is so tough being responsible for these small humans we created that quite often, you can feel overwhelmed.

You can’t get any peace and quiet for yourself – not even to go for a pee in the toilet – and because of that, sometimes we need a bit of help from an alcoholic beverage or two.

I keep seeing this video spring up on Facebook, Gin and Tonic four ways, and it got me thinking (dangerous, I know…).

I thought, wow, these look nice but I also thought, if I make one of these drinks and try to sit down with it, I’ll inevitably end up with one of the children yelling at me to wipe their poo bum, or to help them make a dragon out of a toilet roll tube and some pipe cleaners, or something like that. You never get 5 minutes peace.

So, I decided to make my own video.

Ladies and gents, I give you, Gin & Tonic four ways. A Life is Knutts version…

Thank you and goodnight…from under the bed with a G&T 😉

Gems.x

R is for Hoppit





Ride, Sally, Ride…

“Come along for the ride!”

I was just scrolling through my facebook news feed and I came across a “For sale” advert on my local for sale page.

It said, “barely used, almost as good as new!”

The item was this…

Now, it may only be 9:30am on a weekday, but I took one look at this item and thought, Epic Adult toy. And why would anyone want a second hand one of these – or one at all for that matter?!

The name “iJoy” was enough evidence for me to make my mind up that it was an inappropiate item to be selling on a local for sale page. It seemed a little ‘specalist’…

After googling said item – all in the name of research I hasten to add – I found it wasn’t an adult toy it was, in fact, a piece of exercise equipment.

I watched a YouTube video on how it works and I am afraid to say I literally spat out my Bran Flakes. I’ve not seen anything this funny since Boris Johnson got stuck on that zip wire in front of the press when promoting the 2012 London Olympics…

The advert for the product shows a man trying it out. Every now and then, the camera pans up to his face so you can’t see anything else, and what you’re greeted with is the sight of a man with a very pleased smirk on his face rocking back and forth like he has a starring roll in, ‘Debbie does Dallas’.

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The theory behind the iJoy Ride is that it simulates, that’s simulates, not stimulates (very important not to get those two mixed up in this instance), horse riding and makes you use your core muscles and leg muscles to stabilise yourself…think Bucking Bronco in the comfort of your living room. Let’s just hope people close the curtains when they’re having a session on it so the neighbours don’t just see the top half of you have a suspect ‘good time’.

Now I’m sorry, and you may think me very childish (you are probably right, I am a little) but this is just too funny not to watch. Even if it is a bit of fitness equipment, you can’t help but feel a little awkward watching him have a good go…

The bit that cracks me up the most are the 4 different speed settings and the names they’ve given them! Pahahahaha!!!!!

1 – Warm up. “A gentle motion for new riders”.

2 – Taking it easy. “Great for starting a workout programme”.

3 – Getting serious. “For an invigorating ride”. (How funny is that?!)

4 – Pump it up. “For a maximum intensity ride when you’re ready”. (Bloody Genious!)

Pahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!

This has literally made my morning!!!!

If you want to watch more and have a giggle, this retro clip from Richard and Judy is also worth having a look at. I couldn’t stop laughing, especially when the lady turns the speed up and describes it as getting “friskier”. She really has a jolly good ride. I don’t know her name, but I’ve decided to name her Sally. Apparently all Sally wants to do is ride…there’s a song in that 😉

These seem to be retailing at about £200 new, and £90 used if you’re interested… 😉

I wonder how long it’ll take for the one for sale locally to be snapped up??

“Ye Ha!”

Gems.x

Diary of an imperfect mum





Life is Knutts is Featured in Brit Mums Newbie Round-up!

I’m so excited I could squeal like a toddler in Morrisons!!!

I was reading a Brit Mums ‘Newbie Blogger’ round-up today, shared by the lovely Aby over on the absoloutely gorgeous blog, You Baby Me Mummy (seriously, you must check out Aby’s photography skills, she’s really quite fabulous) and amongst the super brilliant bloggers mentioned, I was godsmacked to see my blog there!

Pop the prosecco, attempt a bit of a moon-walk and sing ‘We are the champions’ by Queen with a wooden spoon as a microphone!

This months Newbie Blogger roundup is all about finding the new funny talent so I was over the moon to be mentioned.

There are some truly wonderful bloggers in this months round-up so be sure to give their links a little tickle with your mouse cursor, they’ll have you laughing your head off and reaching for some Tena Lady in a flash…

You can read my mention in the newbie round-up over on Brit Mums by clicking here!

Thank you so much Aby for featuring me this month, it means the world…and gives me yet another excuse to have a G&T later on tonight!

You can find Aby over on her blog, You Baby Me Mummy, here!

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A fit of the giggles…

I was supposed to be getting the toddler ready for bed and calming him down.

You know, bath, story, milk, bed, lullabys…that sort of thing.

Well, this is how that went once he found a funny, whirring, whistle toy….

I can’t stop watching the bit where he falls off his bed 😂😂😂😂 – naughty mummy.