Dads night out Vs Mums night out…

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Husband: “I’m going out tonight Hun…”
(Husband gets himself sorted and goes out. Shuts door.
Wife: “I’m going out tonight Hun…”
(So wife:
*Prepares husband a dinner so he doesn’t starve and just stare at the fridge like a Zombie later on – after proclaiming ‘there’s nothing to eat in the house’ after a weekly shop being delivered.
*Makes the children dinner.
*Has toddler throw said dinner on the floor and scream.
*Has other 2 children shout at her about their dinner because ‘that’s disgusting!!’ before they’ve even tried it.
*Attempts to find some clothes that are A) Clean B) Ironed, or look relatively crinkle free after attempting to use hair straighteners to flatten them C) Still fit after falling off the ‘I’m not eating crap’ wagon epically.
*Tries to paint nails, for the second time only this year, and only manages to get 7 done before the toddler yelps to be released from his highchair prison immediately.
*Puts kids in the bath and shower.
*Gets soaked while bathing the Tasmanian toddler
*Changes clothes because they’re wet, and she wasn’t comfy in them anyway.
*Puts kids in Pjs.
*Puts kids in bed.
*Older kids need simultaneous poos.
*Toddler poops in clean happy.
*Sort all the kids out and put them back in bed again.
*Attempts to apply makeup in a frenzy resulting in a look that’s more punched in the eye than smokey eye.
*finds a handbag that doesn’t contain half eaten snacks or nappies.
*finds shoes that aren’t ‘comfy’ and ‘practical’
*Kids cry that they’re being abandoned and that they’re afraid she may never return.
*they get out of bed for a hug and make her feel guilty about going out.
*she puts the kids back in bed.
*she says goodbye to her husband who is horizontal watching Wheeler Dealers on Dave.
*Escapes the house for her night out but she is so exhausted she hopes the restaurant has beds.
*Shuts door).

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